Grace-ful Grief Visit With Todd Buck and Danielle Stein in Hankinson, North Dakota

What an honor it was to meet these two special people, Danielle Stein and Todd Buck

I thought this visit would be about spending time learning more about Todd and Danielle’s incredible story of grief, grace, forgiveness, and empathy. But it turned out to be more than that, and more than I had ever expected.

First, a brief review of Todd and Danielle’s story.

After I read an article about Todd and Danielle’s story and watched a video of the sentencing hearing on a Facebook post, I reached out to Todd and asked if he’d write an essay for Let’s Talk Grief II. He said yes and also invited Danielle to submit an essay. She also said, “Yes.” Both also accepted my request to visit and meet with them in Hankinson.

Todd and Mariah Buck are proud parents of a blended family with 7 children. Two adults in their thirties, two teenagers, and three children in elementary school. Danielle Stein is a single working mother with a 9-year-old daughter.

On August 26, 2025, Todd’s wife, Mariah, was killed after Danielle, who was driving home from work, lost control of her car and T-boned Mariah while she was riding her bicycle. Mariah died at the scene. The accident occured in the driveway of the Buck’s house. Three of the children were riding with Mariah and witnessed the accident.

Seven months after the accident, a charge of negligent homicide was filed against Danielle. The maximum sentence is 5 years in prison and a $20,000 fine.

Three months later, on June 16, 2026, at the sentencing hearing, Todd Buck and Mariah’s father and brother, in their victim impact statements, urged Judge Bradley A. Cruff not to sentence Danielle to prison for the following reasons: she was already serving a lifetime sentence,  she was also a mom, and they didn’t want her to grieve the loss of life without her daughter, nor did they want her daughter growing up without her mother. Instead of prison time, they suggested community service hours, including speaking to high school students about distracted driving.

Todd and Mariah’s family was thrilled to hear the judge’s decision not to sentence Danielle to prison time. Instead, he sentenced her to two years of supervised probation, 200 hours of community service involving speaking at high schools to students about distracted driving, and $17,925 in restitution. After the trial, Todd told Mariah he would attend the distracted-driving presentations with her. 

Despite this awful tragedy, Todd said, "There was no point in being angry. It was an accident and could happen to anyone. And this is what Mariah would have wanted me and her family to do.

Todd and Mariah Buck.

Instead of being angry, Todd practiced grace, forgiveness, and empathy. These interconnected virtues help us heal relationships, show compassion, and navigate humanity.  People rarely practice them at the same time. But Todd did, and thanks to him, other Hankinson citizens followed suit.

Two weeks after the accident, Todd ran into Daniele for the first time at a high school homecoming football game. He walked up to her, hugged her, and talked about how he wasn’t angry and would do whatever he could to help her with the grief and guilt she now had to carry with her.

Todd realized Danielle was grieving too. And she was also carrying a lot of guilt with her. From that moment on, they regularly kept in contact and developed a friendship and bond most people will never experience or fully understand.

When I asked Todd about his interaction with Danielle at the football game, he said, “Everyone in town needed to see us hug.”

During my visit to Hankinson, I discovered it wasn’t just Todd and Mariah’s family practicing grace, forgiveness, and empathy; it was also relatives, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

From the moment I entered the Hankinson city limits, I could feel something was special about this place. The first thing that caught my eye was a billboard with a large headshot of a man with long hair, a huge smile, and missing teeth. Next to his photo read, “Smile, You're in Hankinson! Hometown of Cody Mauch. I found out later that Cody is a starting offensive right guard for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

What a friendly greeting!

How friendly is Hankinson?

During the visit, word of my arrival spread fast. The moment I met other people, they already knew who I was. Every Hankinson citizen I met supported Todd and Mariah’s family’s decision and was not surprised by it. Every citizen waved at me as I drove or walked through town. Even the sheriff, as he drove past me in his patrol car, waved. I quickly got in the habit of waving back and also waving first. I was afraid that if I didn’t wave, I’d get cited for not waving.

Before I arrived, Todd, Danielle, and I scheduled a time to meet. I’d meet with Todd on Monday and Danielle on Tuesday. Todd also suggested where to stay in Hankinson and where to eat. One of his recommendations was the EDJ restaurant and bar.

With Todd at Falk Drilling, where he works as a mechanic.

On Sunday I visited the EDJ. After the bartender, Lois, introduced herself as the owner and served me the whiskey I ordered, she asked what I was doing in town. “I’m visiting with Todd Buck and Danielle Stein. They’ve agreed to submit essays for a book I will publish about grief.”

“I’m Danielle’s mother,” Lois proudly exclaimed. “It’s great to meet you, and thank you.”

Lois and me.

What are the odds of this happening!

After I met with Todd, he said he was going to tell me Lois is Danielle’s mother but decided not to. I was glad he didn’t. Another example of the many divine intervention moments I’ve had on this 5 year grief journey across the USA.

Ten minutes later, Danielle showed up at the EDJ with her nine-year-old daughter, Dale. Lois had called Danielle and told me I was at the bar. Danielle stopped what she was doing and drove to the bar to meet with me.

I was thrilled to meet her before our scheduled meeting on Tuesday. We talked for over an hour about the unfortunate and tragic accident. Danielle was gracious in sharing the details of what happened and her grief. After we said our goodbyes, we agreed to continue our discussion on Tuesday at her house.

Danielle and me.

The next day, Monday, I met with Todd for lunch at the EDJ. He openly and freely talked about the accident and the details of what he experienced and felt, and how he arrived at his decision to convince Judge Cruff not to sentence Daniel to prison time. He also talked about his struggles to manage the grief of losing Mariah.

On Tuesday, I asked Todd to schedule a meeting with his boss, Nate. Nate agreed, and I met at his office where we talked for about an hour. He shared that he immediately told Todd the company would do everything it could to help him. He told him to take as much time off as he needed and that he would keep receiving a paycheck. Nate also shared details about how others helped and supported Todd and Danielle.

Nate Falk, Todd’s boss, and me.

On Tuesday evening, I met with Danielle again at her house. We discussed her life before the accident and the grief and guilt she was dealing with because of it. One thing stood out: Danielle was truly remorseful. She also shared how people were rallying around her, helping and supporting her.

I asked her, “How are you dealing with the guilt?”

“Not good. I carry it with me every day.”

Her answer made me realize what a heavy burden she is carrying. One that most people will never experience or understand. I left admiring how she was managing the grief and guilt, and her newfound, healthy friendship with Todd and Mariah’s family.

Then, I asked her what she thought about Todd and Mariah’s family’s decision to keep her from serving time in prison.

“I grew up with the Buck family and wasn’t surprised by their gesture. That's the kind of people they are. I pleaded guilty, accepted responsibility, and was prepared to go to prison. I was so relieved to hear Judge Cruff’s decision and thankful for Todd and Mariah’s family.”

Thirty minutes later, Todd showed up.

Watching the way the two of them greeted, hugged, and interacted was Amazing!

For the next hour, Todd, Danielle, and I talked more about their grief and how they’d move forward together with their newfound friendship.

What also made Hankinson, a small town with a population of 900 people, special was the pride they took in their community, as shown by the billboard I mentioned earlier. Everyone I met offered suggestions on what to do, what to see, or places to visit.

Todd gave me a tour of the new fire department building the Hankinson citizens built last year. Todd is a volunteer crew member on the fire department staff and serves as a paramedic.

Lois suggested I visit the Sisters of St. Francis Convent. She called Sister Jean Louise Schafer and scheduled a private tour. Sister Schafer serves as mother superior and vocation directress. Before the convent, the building served as a private international boarding school. Sister Schafer has been at the convent for over 40 years.

Before I left, I gave Sister Schafer one of Wesley’s Charms. Then she prayed for me and asked 10,000 angels to watch over me during my grief journey across America.

Sister Jean Louise, Wesley’s Charm and me.

Everyone in Hankinson thanked me for visiting and invited me to return. Which I plan to do.

Todd has submitted his essay, and I will be posting it in a future blog. After Danielle submits her essay, I will post it, too.

Hankinson exemplifies how a community should rally around and support people who have lost a loved one. One that the rest of the world should model.

Thank you to Todd, Danielle, and all the Hankinson citizens I met for a warm, friendly, and inspirational visit.