The loss of a loved one, as well as our own death, is inevitable, and so is the grief process. Yet, when it happens, most people are emotionally unprepared and only view grief as a tragedy and disaster. Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to grief. There is a dark side and a bright side. The dark side of grief is fueled by grievers who act and remain angry, sad, fearful, resentful, and jealous; act like a victim; play the blame game; treat grief li

Detoured Parenthood by Nancy Slinn My name is Nancy. I was born in Vancouver, Canada, in December of 1961, the only child of Italian immigrants. My parents didn’t believe in hiring a babysitter, so I was usually taken along to whatever it was they were participating in. Whether the joy of a wedding, a birthday, or the sadness of a funeral, little Nancy could usually be seen tagging along with her parents. Nancy and Peter Slinn I watched closely how the adults in my world deal

Men and women are biologically different for a good reason. Therefore, they grieve differently. The differences are there to complement each other. Unfortunately, in the last few decades, the differences have created a gender war and divided families and people. Here are a few stories from men about how different they are. I worked as a facilitator at hospitals that hosted expectant dads programs. The format was an open discussion. The dads who attended this program broke the

Another stumbling block on why people don’t talk about grief is how mental health experts and support groups have unintentionally enabled people to only discuss grief during one-on-one therapy or in structured small support groups, and apply the following rule: “What is said in the room stays in the room.” I understand the good intentions of privacy. However, it has done more harm than good. It has taught people to keep their honest feelings and secrets to themselves. Here ar

One example of how people ignore other types of grief is the way our culture responds to and treats people in the military, law enforcement, and the fire department. As Randy Pausch once said, To solve a problem, you need to remove the cause, not the symptom. And also, Ashleigh Warner: beneath every behavior, there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. When we meet that need, rather than focusing on the behavior, we address the cause, not the symptom. After return

In addition to talking about grief, it’s important to learn how to talk about grief. Primary grievers often talk about grief from a place of anger, sadness, frustration, vengeance, and resentment. Yes, it’s okay to feel these emotions. It’s part of the grieving process. However, it’s unacceptable when it becomes evil behavior that emotionally harms people and persists for long periods. Most secondary grievers and even strangers will generally give a primary griever an open ea

My Brother’s Tragic Death in Prison By Sonia Chavez (Published in Preston’s Charm book, June 2024.) Before you read Sonia’s essay, I’d like to announce that I need more essays ASAP to post on this blog and also to publish in the sequel book I plan to release later this year, Let's Talk Grief 2: Essays From the Real Grief Experts. At the end of this blog, I included guidelines and instructions on how to submit an essay. This is an opportunity for you to share your voice on a

Wesley's Charm and Me Sitting On the Bench People Watching Cry is a three-letter word, and so is joy! It was another one of the “I’m not doing okay days.” I couldn’t muster the energy or motivation to get out of bed, so I just lay around in the back of my camper van. But after a couple of hours, instead of wallowing in grief, loss, sadness … and continuing to suffer, I chose to find a way to bring joy back into my life. As I noted in my book, the pain and suffering of losing

Erkia Marie Tuttle's Revised Book Cover The new release date for the Let’s Talk Grief book is sometime in August. Although I’m not happy about the delay, it has given me time to improve the book's content and quality. And it also gave Erika Marie Tuttle time to improve the book cover. As we await the release of Let’s Talk Grief: Breaking the Silence and Healing, With Grace, Peace and Harmony, I am inviting people to submit a grief essay for a sequel titled Let’s Talk Grief 2:

Grief is a deeply personal experience, yet many people feel pressured to grieve in a certain way. One major reason for this pressure is the widespread belief in the five stages of grief. These stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—have been taught as a universal roadmap for healing after loss. But this model, originally developed for terminally ill patients, does not accurately reflect the complex and unpredictable nature of grief experienced by those w

Rylee Webb A Daughter’s Journey Through Grief and Light by Rylee Webb Grief. It is a universal language, spoken in hushed tones and felt in the deepest chambers of our hearts. It connects us all, yes, but so do kindness, compassion, gratitude, and love. I learned this truth in the most brutal way imaginable when my dad, Jeffrey Alan Webb, left this earth on December 18, 2021, at a mere 50 years old. They say the unfortunate hope for every parent is to precede their child in d

I feel another reason people struggle to talk about grief is that they do not fully understand the trauma that follows grief and the impact it has on a person who has lost a loved one. The word “trauma” originates in Greek and means “wound.” Trauma is not caused by the physical act of death itself, but rather by the deeply distressing and disturbing psychological and emotional responses to the loss. Here is how Dr. Gabor Maté explains trauma. He is a Canadian physician and au

The Heavy Silence of Grief and Divorce Shame: How Cultural Misunderstandings Hinder Healing Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it remains a topic many avoid discussing openly. The silence around grief often deepens the pain, making healing more difficult. When grief intersects with divorce, the silence grows heavier. Divorce shame adds another layer of complexity, rooted in cultural misunderstandings and societal judgments. This post explores why people

Grief is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face. Yet, despite its universality, many people find it difficult to talk about grief openly. Jennifer, who lost her husband to cancer, shared a powerful truth during an interview: “Nobody wants to talk about it.” This silence around grief creates isolation and slows healing. While death is often discussed in public, grief remains a private, sometimes taboo subject. This post explores why talking about grief matte

Siuxanne and Colin A Mother's Grief, A Son's Legacy by Suzanne Hendrickson My son, Collin, had a beautiful soul. He was smart, silly, compassionate, and deeply loved his family and friends. As the middle child between two sisters, he was the peacemaker and their best friend. He was an easy child to raise, sweet, cuddly, and full of laughter. That is how I will always remember him. Our family has always been extremely close, so losing him has been life-changing. The void his a

This post is inspired by several conversations with my good friend EJ Hanhart over the last few months. For those who don’t remember or know, EJ lost his wife, Wendy, to cancer in 2024. One of my favorite photos with EJ. In our earlier conversations about grief, it started with “How are you doing?” And like most people, our answer was “Okay.” But the reality is sometimes we’re “not okay.” There are days when I can’t fall asleep at night. There are days when I wake up and don’

Of the blogs I posted since February, the ones with the most views have been the “Guest Blogs.” Some have had over 100 views, and one has had over 200 views. It tells me that people who have lost a loved one enjoy reading the successful grief stories of their fellow grief comrades. I only have three essays left to publish on the Blog. I would like to invite anyone to submit an essay ASAP. As I noted earlier, I plan to publish a sequel to the first “Let’s Talk Grief.” 80% of t

Managing My Way Through the Grief Process by Diane Ford Diane Ford I lost my daughter, Adrienne, in June 2023. She was fifty-seven, the oldest of three children, and my only daughter. Adrienne was my guiding light, bold, bossy, and a no-nonsense person. She was also my ride-or-die and best friend. We looked forward to spending more time together, such as her upcoming birthday party, a cruise, and visits to other states in the U.S. When Adrienne passed away, I never imagined I

After I tell mental health experts about my “Let’s Talk Grief” book, which I’m about to publish, I’m asked if I’m a grief expert and have credentials. By definition, I’m not an expert and don’t claim to be one. I’m just a fellow griever who wrote two books about grief and gave other grievers the opportunity to share their grief stories in both of them. The other book is “Preston’s Charm: A Charming, Healthy, and Empathetic Approach to Grief,” which I co-authored with Bridget

A Tower of Grief by Nanette Neal Nanette and Chuck It’s a helpless feeling being a parent of a troubled young son who struggled to stop his drug addiction and remove the bad people in his life. It was a life filled with irresponsible behavior and constant partying. In March of 2023, I had another dreaded and frustrating conversation with my son, Chuck. He called and said, “Mom, I drank a bottle of NyQuil…. I just want to die.” I called 911. The paramedics arrived and drove hi