Personal Growth Plan to Help, Heal, Rebuild, and Move Forward with Life

Not only is it important to develop a personal growth plan, but it is also vital to record your progress as Michelle Ferris illustrates with her progress list at the end of this Blog. I feature Michelle in the “Let’s Talk Grief” book that will debut in August or September. If you’d like to read her essay and know more about her and how she manages her grief, visit https://www.letstalkgrief.org/post/a-single-mom-s-grief-weight-loss-journey-by-michelle-ferris 

Personal Growth Plan

Remember, just like each person’s grief is different, so is a person’s personal growth plan. It’s your plan, not anyone else’s plan. It’s about your pain, not someone else’s pain, because only you can control your grief. It’s not fair to ask someone else to control or help you with your grief.

Here is a list of key factors crucial to creating a personal growth plan that helps you embrace grief as an ally. 

1. Write down a list of emotions you’re having a hard time managing.

2. Assess from the hardest issues to the least hard. Don’t overthink. Just create an orderly list to give you a starting and ending point. 

3. Tackle the easiest one first and ask yourself, What can I do to relieve this emotion. Then work your way down the list.

4. Set a specific time to address and work on each specific emotion. Don’t try to manage more than one. Stay focused on the one and use it as a building block for success.

5. Document your progress. Every week, every two weeks, or once a month, reflect on where you were emotionally at one time and compare it to where you are now. 

6. Choose a mentor and choose wisely. Find a person whom you can confide in and count on to call him or her in the middle of the night, and who will make time to listen to you talk about your grief. And give them permission to hold you accountable and check in on you.

7. Write down the list of triggers that make you feel sad, angry, or fearful, and create a list of ways to control them. 

8. Develop an action plan with goals you’d like to accomplish to help you manage your grief and create a path forward with a positive attitude. Ensure your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. 

9. Keep a record of your progress and make adjustments to make sure you stay on track. Too often, people forget how much progress they have made. Every month, make it a habit to reflect on where you were a month ago. If you can see an improvement, great. If not, assess what changes are needed to get you back on track. 

10. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Use the strong ones to keep you on course and moving forward. Improve your weak skills to stay on track. 

Michelle Ferris provides a good example of how she kept a record of her progress. Here is the post she published on her Facebook Page.

Looking back on another year gone by in this life while grieving, I can see growth. This isn’t to say look at me and what I did, but for me to see that there is purpose and beauty from these grief ashes. It may also serve as encouragement for others. I am still living, and while I’m here, I’m doing the best I can. Some days are better than others.

Michelle with a cross for Corban made by her brother. She left it at the lake where Corban passed away.

Here is a list of highlights from 2025.

• Completed a 12-week Uncluttered course with Becoming Minimalist, Joshua Becker

• Continued facilitating a monthly in-person local support group for bereaved moms (“Just Hold On”) with about 7-9 regularly attending

• Started co-facilitating a virtual support group for bereaved moms through Starlight Ministries

• Went on a trip to Luella’s Lodge in Illinois with my Standing in the Gap Moms

• Went to Wisconsin with my Rockstar Moms

• Attended an in-person gathering for a few days in Wisconsin with Alive Alone members, parents who’ve lost their only child

• Continued with my eating and exercise habits and maintained a 40-45 lb weight loss.

• Continued going to my HIIT gym 3 days a week

• Attended TobyMac Hits Deep concert with Corban’s sister, Annabelle (a concert Corban loved and I used to go to)

• Started going to the dentist again and caring for my dental health (had not done that since before Corban died)

• Attempted to dip my feet in the dating world again, first time trying as a grieving mom. It’s hard.

• Completed a 7-week Bible/book study with the book, “Heaven: When Faith Becomes Sight” by Jennifer Rothschild

• Survived the difficult 5-year mark of Corban’s Heaven-going on July 4th

• Started to read the Bible in one year with the Bible Recap plan. Only got to about 7 months, though, and was too far behind; I did not finish. Disappointed, but starting at all is a win.

• Honored Corban’s 24th birthday by paying it forward with 24 birthday cards with $24 in them to strangers

• Did my best to be a support for other family and friends struggling while carrying my own grief every day

• Attended my first Bereaved Parents of the USA Conference in Pittsburgh

• Wrote an essay of my grief story to be part of an upcoming book about grief

• Honored Corban by gifting Making Movie Memories to 30 families, totaling 96 people, for the holidays

• -New friendships with bereaved parents

• And it goes without saying… I accomplished all these things while loving, grieving, missing, and carrying my boy with me.

And it goes without saying… I accomplished all these things while loving, grieving, missing, and carrying my boy with me.

Michelle and Corban

I hope the list I provided and Michelle’s story will help you embrace grief as an ally.