Stone #6 Build Reassurance and Conquer Fear Part II

Grief presents a list of fears. The list of fears includes: fear of not grieving correctly. Fear of another death. Fear of being embarrassed. Fear of being abandoned. Fear of never being happy again. Fear of what life will be like without your loved one. Fear of depression and losing one’s mind. And fear of the unknown.

Here is a list of ways you can conquer the fear of grief.

Self-awareness. Acknowledge the fears, identify their triggers, and address them. Be mindful of what triggers the fear and makes you feel nervous or apprehensive. Observe and track how your body responds to fear.

Breathing Techniques. They can help ease your mind about conquering fear and help you overcome any panic attacks you may experience. For example, if your heart beats faster or your palms start to sweat. Stay in that moment, let yourself feel the fear, even though it will be uncomfortable, and begin breathing exercises.

Self-Care. Get enough rest, eat healthy, and stay physically active to support your mental well-being.

Stay In the Present. Stop looking into the “fear view mirror.” Don’t let the fear of the past keep you from moving forward. 

Break the Fear. Break fear down into tiny, manageable steps. Gradually build your comfort level with each small success. 

Keep a Record of Progress. Journal your successes and compare where you are today with yesterday, the past week, the past month, and the past year. Writing is highly therapeutic and will validate your progress and success.

Share Your Fears. Like grief, talk about your fears with someone you trust. Confiding in others is also a way to build a support team. Ask them to keep track of your progress.

Celebrate the Progress. When you recognize the progress, even the small ones, pat yourself on the back or treat yourself to dinner. Sometimes you need to be your own cheerleader!

Visualize Your Success. There is a saying: "If you can conceive it, you can achieve it." Imagine yourself successfully handling the situation. Picturing a positive outcome can help make it happen. A personal example is that before I published my first book, every time I walked past a Barnes & Noble, I pictured my book in the display window. Two years later, my book was featured in the display window of a Barnes & Noble bookstore. And yes, I took a photo of myself inside the display case next to my book.

Seek Help. As mentioned before, either with a therapist or by attending support groups. In addition to providing sound advice, a therapist or fellow griever can help you build the courage to address your fears and confirm your progress.

Reframe Your Thoughts. When you experience physical symptoms of fear, reframe them as excitement. The physical sensations are similar, and changing your interpretation can help. Challenge negative thoughts. Ask yourself if your fearful thoughts are based on fact or assumption. Then replace them with positive thoughts or pockets of joy. 

Be patient. Healing is a process. It will take time and go at your own pace.

In the next blog, I will feature another Guest Blogger’s essay.