The Passing of Wesley’s Charm: Two Special Grief Healing Moments for the Record Book

On my way to Pueblo, Colorado, I parked the camper van in the parking lot of the front entrance to the Petrified Forest National Park for a short rest. Before I left, I placed one of Wesley’s Charms on the bulletin board near the Park’s sign. Photo #1.

Eight hours later, I received an email and photo from Alejanda Slentz. Photo #2. It is the quickest reply I received after leaving one of Wesley’s Charms!

“Found at Petrified Forest National Park and will be joining us for a westward road trip!”

This is so awesome! Wesley’s Charm is traveling the country with another person!

Last week, I received two emails and photos.

The first is from Kalli Boos. Photo #3.

“Thinking of you. I come here to visit my loved ones that aren’t earthside, and now yours is here to enjoy the dolphins and beautiful views.”

The second from Brig and Denise. Photo #4.

“Found this at Lifeguard HQ at San Clemente State Park. Enjoy and remember your boy!”

Brig and Denise also left Wesley’s Charm attached to the fence.

This is another special moment with Wesley’s Charm because two people responded to finding one of Wesley’s Charm at the same location.

Of the 100 of Wesley’s Charms I have left in places or given to people, 23 people have emailed me a message of condolences and photos of Wesley’s Charm.

I am so grateful to Bridget and Preston’s Charm. Passing Wesley’s Charm and the messages I have received from strangers have been a great way to heal from my grief. The grief of losing a loved one is a lifelong roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Receiving messages and photos about Wesley’s Charm is a great pick-me-up for those down moments and makes me feel better.

For those of you who don’t know the whole story about the Passing of Wesley’s Charm, here is a brief summary.

The Making of Preston's Charm

After Bridget Bagley's son, Staff Sergeant Preston Bailey Hancock, died as a result of a head-on collision in Tallahassee, Florida, she turned grief into an art form by creating Preston’s Charm. It was a way for her to cope with her grief and keep Preston’s name, spirit, and memory alive.

The main part of the Charm is a laminated business card. On the front of the card is a photo of Bridget’s son, Staff Sergeant Preston Bailey Hancock, a short poem, and Bridget’s email address. On the back of the card are instructions on what to do with Preston’s Charm. If you find this remembrance of Preston, you are welcome to leave it or take it, pass it to another, or keep it for yourself. My email is on the front, so I know where it is. Take a picture if possible. And attached to it are beads and trinkets. 

Bridget made 1,500 of Preston’s Charms and passed them to people or left them in places for them to find. The people who received or found Preston’s Charm passed it from one person to another. Since Preston’s Charm's debut in 2019, it has traveled to or been found in every state in the USA, 26 countries, 4 islands, and on cruise ships.

One of Preston’s charms was passed to me by Tammy and JR Adams on December 26, 2021. They found it at the VFW in Deadwood, South Dakota, where it was left by one of Bridget’s friends, Jeff McKinney, on his way to Sturgis, South Dakota, for the infamous motorcycle rally. Tammy and JR held Preston’s Charm for 5 months before giving it to me.

Two weeks after I received Preston’s Charm, I called Bridget to learn more about her story. I asked her to send me more Charms so I could leave one in every state. Several months later, I met Bridget at her home in Winslow, Arizona, and returned Preston’s Charm to her, which was given to me by the Adams. I was so enamored by her story that I asked her if she’d allow me to help her write a book about Preston’s Charm. She agreed.

Our book, Preston’s Charm: A Charm-ing, Healthy and Empathetic Approach to Grief, debuted in June of 2024.

Eleven months after I received Preston’s Charm, my son, Wesley Jordan Hilling, passed away on December 18, 2022.  He was 32 years old. His cause of death was due to medical complications caused by his disability. He was born with a rare genetic disorder called Angolan Syndrome. It disrupted the communication system between the brain and the muscles. His cause of death was hypercarbia. Because he couldn’t control his muscles, he wasn’t able to remove the carbon dioxide from his body fast enough. For his last few years of life, he was slowly dying of carbon dioxide poisoning.

After Wesley passed away, I asked Bridget to make 100 Charms for Wesley and began leaving them in places or giving them to someone I met.

If you’d like to purchase a Charm for your loved one, contact me through the “Get In Touch” Form on the Let’s Talk Grief ™ website at www.letstalkgrief.org

Together, Let’s Break the Silence and Heal With Grace, Peace, and Harmony!